The Hollow Oak Trees

“The greatest sin in this world is the refusal to think” – Ayn Rand.

-          A story

Since the dawn of time, there was a huge forest called Gower. Gower was the most surviving forest and was loved by all the monsoons, especially Blitz. Blitz loved the centre of Gower, which was full of tall oak trees, for it was those trees that brought the most rain for the forest. Each oak tree was so strong and so self confident that the centre of the forest felt strangely alive. All the animals and the birds there felt it too, and they call that centre Oaky. Something about those trees suggested a quality of self control that seemed almost arrogant. The elders of the forest were called Mahaans and the young trees were called Bachus.

While the rest of the forest changed over the years, the oak patch in the centre remained the same, as a fulcrum, a reference to gauge the change over time. Part of the answer to the riddle was in the grooming of the young. But it was not the whole. The other half of the answer lied in the ability of the Bachus to understand the message of their parents.

With time, Bachus grew more rebellious. Their idea of rebellion was to just do things differently from their parents’ way. They questioned every aspect of their way of living to the Mahaans, but were impatient to fully listen to the answers. As they were impatient, they wanted the shortest version of the answer, and they got that from their parents. Wisdom gave way to rules, and Bachus hated the rules even more. The origin of this mindless rebellion was the refusal to think, and this drove a wedge between the young and parents. As time wore on, the rebelling population grew in size and they called themselves Mandus. The population of Mandus grew while that of Bachus fell with time.

Mandus trimmed their branches to beautify themselves. They were tired of standing in one place and they kept shifting and dancing around the forest floor. Gradually their roots became dry and the dry parts were cut off to make the feet look more beautiful. Mahaans were ashamed of their young, and nothing they did improved the situation. In the beginning, the parents worked harder to compensate for the loss in power to pull rain. Bachus also contributed to the elders’ efforts. But, as Mahaans grew older, they became weaker and Oaky grew hotter. Then, the young started wearing sandals made from their branches, to protect their feet. As a result, they felt the high temperature, but they could not do anything as they had not stored water in their roots.

Bachus who were properly groomed were ordered to leave the forest by the Mahaans. The sight of the groomed young parting ways from the dying elders in order to live was a hard sight to watch. Over time, the wise elders died out too, leaving Oaky to hollow oak trees who were struggling to survive. The oak trees which once lived over 150 years started dying at the age of 40-50. The ones which attempted to escape to another forest did not have enough water stored in them to do so. Eventually, the oak trees were wiped out and Oaky lay barren at the centre of Gower.

Blitz, the friendly monsoon, had such fond memories of its favourite place that it never passed through Oaky again. 

Countering Terrorism

Terrorism is.... well, I think you all know what it is. You all probably know some of the popular group names, like, for example, Al Qaeda will be known among many households. What prompted me to think regarding them was not their motive. Their funding.. Well... That would be like a chase down a gopher hole. No... Its much more than that. It is to see what their fuel is. It is actually ATTENTION. Let me elucidate.

The attack on United States twin towers on 11^th September is without doubt one of the most violent acts of terrorism. But just think how long the media kept the issue alive. In my opinion, the issue is constantly kept reminded in the minds of the public. Though it is true that disasters have to be reported as soon as possible to warn the public of those names. But lets take a step back and look at the issue objectively. What did they expect when they brought down those towers? They obviously want everyone to know about it and that they were the group responsible for it. They want everyone to curl in fear thinking of the chaos that they are capable of unleashing. And for that, it requires our sanction – the public’s sanction.

“An act of evil requires the moral sanction of the victim” – Ayn Rand

Terrorists are counting on our capacity to feel fear and let it suspend our rational thinking processes of the mind. They do not wish to live and they are ready to bring down others with them, others who desire to live. The fuel that lets them survive comes precisely from our desire to live.

Now, having recognised that we are, in some monstrous form, their fuel to live, the best way to cut down terrorism is to cut down its fuel. That does not mean we have to die. No, not at all. What I am suggesting is we have to unleash the most powerful weapon to counter terrorism – INDIFFERENCE. Let me clearly explain what I mean by that word.

It does not mean we should stop retaliating using military prowess of the country under attack. No, by all means that is necessary to stop them. Violence has to be used to counter violence. But, there is another thing that we can do, one which is in our control – in the control of every human. Let us take up an example. For the same 11^th September attacks, though it has to be conveyed to everyone, that news need not necessarily be the headlines in news channels and newspapers. The headlines can be something about the mysteries of a natural wildlife reserve while the disastrous issue can be moved to the inner pages. By doing so, we become indifferent to the acts of evil.

As of today, the battle is not fought between terrorism and the public. It is fought between different terrorist groups – a battle to see who captures the headlines for the longest time – and by extension, who haunts the minds of the public the longest. And in this meaningless and senseless game, the public becomes the pawn. If we remove their actions from the front pages, we are saying that they are not the most important. This will definitely be hard for the victims’ families. But, I think they will understand that if the victims’ families insist on their loved ones’ agony capturing the public attention by taking the headlines of the media, then they are siding with the terrorists.

The capacity to feel fear for irrational whims of mad men should not be the primary concern for a household. The primary concern for every household should be their survival and well-being. This article is just one of my thoughts to convey that it is the suspension of rational thinking for fear that drives terrorism. Please do not take part in terrorism and focus on living your life. 

The Grey Zone

I believe with the progression of knowledge, the verdict about a person cannot be just based on black and white, right and wrong. This increasing awareness amongst us has introduced a grey zone in the middle. To clearly understand what I am talking about, here is an extract from a movie called “The Bucket List”.

In the movie, there is a conversation between Carter (Morgan Freeman) and Edward (Jack Nicholson) which also involves Emily (Edward’s daughter).

Carter: Has your life brought joy to others?

Edward: Let me put it to you this way. After the break-up, Emily went to live with her mother. You know, we tried to stay close, but it gets down to holidays, phone calls, birthday cards. Anyway, Emily goes to college, joins one of her Save the poor people, the animals, what not. Meets a guy, decides she loves him. Good looking kid, driven, smart. But there was something about him. So when she said they were engaged, I told her I was against it. But being my daughter, she went ahead and married him anyway. Needless to say, I wasn’t invited to the wedding.

Carter: That must have hurt.

Edward: You think? First time he hit her, she came to me. I wanted to bash his brains. She wouldn’t let me. She said she loved him, it wasn’t his fault, she was the one who picked the fight. Next time it happened, she didn’t come to me. The ex told me. Nice to hear her voice again.

Carter: What did you do?

Edward: What any father would do. I took care of it. I called a guy who called a guy who handles these kinds of things. Dont know what he said, don’t know what he did. All I know is he didn’t kill him and my daughter never heard from him again.

Carter: How did she react?

Edward: Called me names you wouldn’t believe. She said I was dead to her. I am not proud of everything I did. But I am pretty sure I would do it all again. If they don’t let me into Egyptian heaven because my daughter hates me, well then, thats just the way it goes.

Now, try answering the question, “What Edward did was right or wrong?” This question cannot be answered without any doubt in your mind, without any dilemma.

So now that you have a clearer picture about my topic, lets get into it. When deciding a person’s character instead of two zones (good and bad), now, there are four zones. These four zones are namely Black, Grey with a black tinge, Grey with a white tinge and White. I think it is self explanatory, but still for those who are not clear what the zones mean, I will elaborate. The black zone is for pure evil. Mainly sadists fall into this bracket, people who would just like to watch the world burn. White zone is for pure gold, true innocence. The only qualifier for this zone in the real world, in my opinion, is kids and babies. The rest can fall into the grey zone. A lazy person may easily classify everyone into the grey zone. That is why I have purposefully suggested two other zones – grey with white tinge and grey with a black tinge.

But whom you classify and on what basis you classify the persons is entirely upto you. I am just suggesting a new scale for gauging people in front of you. Hope this helps you in making clearer decisions.

The Circles of Familiarity

I believe that everyone we meet and familiarise with are friends. But it is natural to hold some closer to you while distancing others. It is instinctive and one cannot rationally explain. I thought of a structure that can help one understand this process and would like to call this “the circles of familiarity”.

Imagine concentric circles (meaning one circle within another), like the structure of an atom. The number of circles you want is dependent on you, but the minimum number of circles is 3. Let us assume the basic configuration of 3 concentric circles. Begin at the outermost circle where all your friends are initially. The middle circle is what I call as the “non-parasitic test” and the innermost circle is called as “close friends”. The non parasitic test is where you try and recall the occasions when that friend has tried to contact you. If none of the occasions involve calling you to enquire your health, in other words, a simple social call, then he/she has not cleared the non-parasitic test. I believe that a close friend is the one who also calls on you even when the times are good. Now, consider each and every friend from the outermost circle, one by one, and put them through the “non-parasitic test”. If they clear it, then they can be counted on as a close friend.

This is not to say that those who call only on occasions of dire need are all parasites and they can never be your friends or that your close friends will always be loyal to you. This structure is mainly to evaluate for yourself as to where you think you can position these people, in other words, to understand how familiar you are with these people. You can have as many circles you want outside of the “non-parasitic test”. As for the inner circles, I would very strongly recommend that you have only one to avoid ambiguity later on. The “circles of familiarity” is merely a checker board where you can move your friends around as you wish, but above all, it shows how many actual close friends you do have, and how alone you are in this wide world. 

Why am I here ?

Once, a speaker at Ted (www.ted.com) defined something called as the core of existence. Imagine three concentric circles (meaning one within the other). The inner most circle is labelled “why”, the second innermost is labelled “how” and the outermost circle is “what”. The speaker said that the most successful companies like Apple come from inside out. For example, Apple says that it believes in innovation and an indigenous way to do things (Why). It does so by going against presumptions and by challenging existing beliefs (How) and it sells laptops and sound devices (What). And finally Apple asks the customer whether they want one. And such companies are the ones that are most successful, as people believe in what the company believes and they buy the product and not the other way around. This concept was like water to my soul, which was hungry for knowledge and understanding of its existence. And I applied this core of existence model to myself.

After listening to that speaker fully, I stood before the mirror and asked myself the question “Why do i exist? Why am i here?” It also hit me that these questions were subsets of the question “Who am I?” and that many philosophers embrace solidarity in search of that truth. But I am a practical man. I felt that I should be able to do something with my present situation without undertaking such extreme measures for the sake of self discovery.

And then the answer hit me. As part of one of the modules in my MBA programme, I had learnt something called as a vision statement. Apparently, a vision statement is usually designed by companies as a symbol of direction. It is a very short statement of a maximum of two lines, describing where the company sees itself in the future. But the main advantage of a vision statement is that it should be achievable but at the same time it should also state something that is improbable. In other words, a vision statement can be vague.

So, I then decided to draft a vision statement for my life in order to answer the core question “Why”. Naturally, as this question is pretty difficult to be solved, it took me several days. But, in the end, I came up with this rough draft of my vision statement. It goes like this :

My Vision Statement

"To appreciate beauty in all its forms, to fulfil the obligation to my parents, to improve lives of others and to pursue my wild but rational desires"

As I said, this is just a rough draft and as you would have realised, this is nothing but just an amalgamation of my thoughts. But, even so, this provided some clarity as to explain my existence.

Next, I turned to the question “How”. As for the first clause of vision statement, I can appreciate beauty by embracing nature and appreciating innocence. Coming to the second clause, I have to make my parents comfortable financially and spiritually. Thirdly, I can improve lives of others by donating blood and by being a true listener. And finally, I have to make a list of dreams that I want to pursue. I mean, I should know what I have to run after.

And to the final question “What”. To explain briefly, the question can be expanded as “What are you selling?” or “What do you stand for in this world?” The first clause of the vision statement is very clearly explained in the ‘How’ level itself. Coming to the second one, for supporting my family, I need to settle. And for that I need a career. So I will be selling a very capable candidate for hiring. Again the third and the final clauses are clearly explained in the ‘how’ level itself.

Now, I have certain clarity as to my purpose of existence. I have adapted this tool for my own purpose and different people can have different adaptations and different interpretations of the same question. I personally feel that once you know who you are, at least in our level of reasoning, it will definitely help us go a long way. For example, if a company calls you for an interview, and you are not taking it seriously, looking at your circle of existence will make you realise the importance of that interview. Of course, this is just one example I can think off the top of my head.

The world is a very unfair place and complex beyond one’s wildest imagination. In such a crazy world, it is only natural for a human to lie back and watch TV (In my case, I will be on youtube the whole day). But, the core of existence can give you a sense of purpose and something to live for.

Traffic Rules

They are not just for you to obey. It’s a well-disguised psychological warfare…

Note: This post is mainly for those who are yet to get their license, those who have been told that they are driving in a rash and dangerous manner, and for those who like a good reading.

Beyond Rules – The Bigger Picture.

First, a brief groundwork of basics. In most developed countries, there is a concept of parking ticket, where if one breaks a traffic rule, he will be photographed and the same will be sent home. Then you have to go to a nearby police station and pay the fine and may also get a warning against the license. But, the case of developing countries is very different. Here, there is no concept o photography and ticketing. If the policeman at the traffic signal, gets very lucky, and finds a guy crossing the light, and if he gets his weight shifted to the spot in time, he may earn some money for the day.

Having covered the basics let me come to the point. Let me consider an example, when a light turns red, it is not just an order for you to stop, it is a very serious psychological betting invitation. He bets on the fact that the light will not make you stop the vehicle. And by crossing the red signal, we may have attained satisfaction of youth and negligence, but unfortunately you lost the bet. Let me give you one simpler example. The Stop line is not just for you to stop, but to win his bet that a simple white line across the road will not stop you from deciding what you want to do.

There is an old saying, “You may think you have won the battle, but you have lost the war.” This quote applies to the present situation.

What you should do:

Take the following oath:

1. I will not allow someone I do not even know, to win a bet he has placed on me.
2. I will stop my vehicle before the “Stop” line. This is not to show that I obey traffic rules, but to wipe the smirk off that traffic policeman’s face.
3. I will follow the traffic signals or the signals given by the policeman (as the case depends), to the letter. This is to not give him an opportunity to win a bet that he did not deserve.
4. I will only give my oath only under two conditions:

a. When I am helping somebody suffering from a severe illness and deserving urgent medical attention

b. When there is an ambulance behind me and desperately trying for a way out. Whatever any government, institution or law says, a person’s life always has the highest priority.

Take the above oath and let us win not only petty battles, but also huge wars.

Behaviour - Part 1

A person’s character is always judged by his behaviour. This is a very old saying and very true. Man is a social animal and craves for grouping and recognition. To quench this thirst, society came into existence.

Naturally, when something is created, there has to be rules. Society is no exception.

I am going to explain for different categories....Today it is....

Parents

Now let me ask you to do a simple exercise. Use your senses. Let me explain:

1. Close your eyes. Allow your olfactory senses to work. Smell everything around you.
2. Hear everything around you. Even the tiniest sounds and concentrate on a few.
3. Open your eyes and see everything around you.

You will feel something after this exercise – you will feel ALIVE. This was possible because of your parents. They were responsible for creating you. And get this straight and very clear right now. They gave you a huge loan at your birth, which you cannot satisfy in this birth, and not by money alone.

So what do they expect in return? They expect to be loved and respected. I am going to explain the parent-child relationship from two views – Emotional and Monetary

The best way to respect your parents is by understanding them. Some children are successful in such an attempt. But majority do not attempt at all. The steps for establishing a perfect parent-child relationship involves the following stages:

1. Attempting to understand your parents
2. Understanding them
3. Respecting their intentions

Attempt

Emotional View

The most important part in this attempt is to question. When a parent scolds a child, first thing the child must do is to move away from the place of incidence as quickly as possible, say, to another room. The next step is to question. Why did they scold me? Superficial and emotionally stupid reasons such as “They don’t like me at all” should be immediately discarded. The question should be asked by your brain after thoroughly understanding that your parent loves you. Then the reason will be clear. They scolded you because you did not get good marks. Why did you not get good marks? Is it because of you or because of them? Again stupid emotional responses should be brushed aside. On doing so, you will find that you are standing on the wrong side of the fault line.

They created you, and they want to make you a good citizen, a good human being. But the fault lies in the fact that you do not return any favour at all. “Why should I live for them?” is the oft repeated question in the student’s mind.

Remember that they are giving very generous loans. First, they give you life, then facilitate your survival, and finally help you in every step and through every obstacle. So, the first and foremost duty of every human being is to respect his parents.

How can we attempt? By empathy. Putting ourselves in their place is the simplest and the most effective of all the methods in trying to understand one’s parents. When your father shouts at you for smoking, for one second and before you shout back, just mentally switch places and visualize yourself in a similar situation with your son.

This small delay will alleviate all friction in parent-child relationship. In such situations, responding immediately is the worst part.

Monetary View

“First Rule of Business, Protect your Investment” – Etiquette of the Banker 1775

They have invested their energy and resources in creating you. By thus creating, they have left you on a credit card. As you grow older, every human may try and some may even succeed in repaying the interest. But the principal will always remain pending.

The first thumb rule in every person’s life should be this – “I should not remain in the debt of others”.

Hence your entire life must be spent on satisfying this thumb rule. Thus, when you die, you will be at the debt of only your parents.

Naturally, the next question will be “If I can never repay this debt, why should I take the effort to repay it?” Again, it comes back to the concept of investment. By investing in a commodity, every investor expects it to yield something in return. And in neglecting your duty of payment, you forget to pay back even the accumulated interest, which at least is within your reach.

The next question will be “If it comes down to money, why cannot I pay a lump sum in the end?” Here comes the concept of life. We arise from nothing and will disappear into nothingness. So how can man take money with him when he dies? So, the payment should not be absolutely monetary, it should be in such a form that your investors feel it and utilize the same. It does not essentially mean luxury. It means comfort and showing them that you care for them. By doing so alone, you may succeed in repaying the interest.

“Why cannot I disobey them in my childhood and then when I become mature and older, repay them back in large amounts?” First point is that maturity and age are completely independent of each other. Secondly, the interest accumulates in a very alarming compound interest manner. The regular payer alone succeeds in repaying back the interest.

Understanding

Once you get the attempt path very clear in your mind, the next step is to actually understand your parent’s intentions. This is where the plot thickens. About 95% of all parent-child relationships in this world are good ones – meaning, both the parents have good characters in them. Among the rest, it’s the parental relationships that will be disturbing. The character of your parents should not be certified by your perspective alone.

In the majority of the cases, the parents will want to protect their investment. Now, I speak for this majority and I can confidently say that whatever they do is with your future in mind and with purity of intent.

Successful understanding involves repeatedly making attempts to understand their actions.

Respect

It is common knowledge that when you start to respect a person’s intention, you begin to respect the person. And this is what will happen if you successfully cross Stage 2.

What you should do:

As a child:

1. Your parents want you to be the best.
2. Your parents love you and your sibling(s) the most.
3. Whatever they do, is for you alone.

As a college going student:

1. Be sincere in the first stage: Attempt.
2. Your perspective is not always the right one. Remember this:

“The greatest enemy will hide in the last place you will ever look.”

3. Delay your response to your parent’s altercation at least by a moment.

As a working professional and a married man:

1. You have become independent. But you still have a loan to pay back.
2. You need not keep your parents in your house. But don’t insult them by sending them to an old age home.
3. With your parent’s consent (this clause is very important), relocate them to same city you are residing in.
4. If you are successful in point 3, visit them at least once a week and have a meal with them.
5. Even if they are someplace else, visit them at least once a year.
6. Call your parents regularly (at least twice a week).

In their old age:

1. Keep them with you in your house.
2. Most important, shower your love on them or at least try to show that you care. Therein lies your life’s foremost duty.