I believe that everyone we meet and familiarise with are friends. But it is natural to hold some closer to you while distancing others. It is instinctive and one cannot rationally explain. I thought of a structure that can help one understand this process and would like to call this “the circles of familiarity”.
Imagine concentric circles (meaning one circle within another), like the structure of an atom. The number of circles you want is dependent on you, but the minimum number of circles is 3. Let us assume the basic configuration of 3 concentric circles. Begin at the outermost circle where all your friends are initially. The middle circle is what I call as the “non-parasitic test” and the innermost circle is called as “close friends”. The non parasitic test is where you try and recall the occasions when that friend has tried to contact you. If none of the occasions involve calling you to enquire your health, in other words, a simple social call, then he/she has not cleared the non-parasitic test. I believe that a close friend is the one who also calls on you even when the times are good. Now, consider each and every friend from the outermost circle, one by one, and put them through the “non-parasitic test”. If they clear it, then they can be counted on as a close friend.
This is not to say that those who call only on occasions of dire need are all parasites and they can never be your friends or that your close friends will always be loyal to you. This structure is mainly to evaluate for yourself as to where you think you can position these people, in other words, to understand how familiar you are with these people. You can have as many circles you want outside of the “non-parasitic test”. As for the inner circles, I would very strongly recommend that you have only one to avoid ambiguity later on. The “circles of familiarity” is merely a checker board where you can move your friends around as you wish, but above all, it shows how many actual close friends you do have, and how alone you are in this wide world.
